I'm scared

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I'm going to die. I dont want to die, I wanna live forever. One day I will close my eyes and they will never open again. I'll cease to think. I will BE no longer

This has messed me up for 3 years or so, but I never put too much thought about it. It's not like everything will be "black", there will be nothing. Everything I ever did, memories I've ever had, anything I've experienced will "poof" dissapear, like it had poofed into existence one day.

I'm scared. Like try remembering the world before you. Try remembering your parents meeting each other. I'm 17 so try remembering Challenger exploding, try remembering human on the moon, try remembering 24/11.

you can't. you've seen pictures, videos, heard tales, but you never saw anything. and one day you will never see everything again. You won't be

That scares me.  I don't want to go back to nothing. The sheer idea of eternal nothingness scares me.
I'm pissed. If I live my full life expectancy (75 years or so) i'll work my ass off, nombokin danusan, capek proker, break hearts/get heart broken, win competitions, enroll in an lvy League uni, put up with assholes, hug someone I love, go to places, gain knowledge, and lived through so much shit.....  just to have it all taken away?

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